I was supposed to make this blog last night but I got all tied up in the Heat/Thunder game. I’m not going to get started on the game or I’ll never get to the point of this particular blog .. I’ll save that one for later LOL
I was having a conversation with a friend of mine yesterday and the conversation brought me to tears. She is going through a divorce that’s been going on for the past two years. Wednesday, as she sat in court, the court was able to hear recorded testimony from her daughter stating that her ex-husband removed her pants, manually spread her legs and took a picture of her from his camera phone. Now … this is not the child’s mother’s ex-boyfriend .. this is her daughters biological father.
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The tears began to well in my eyes because I could not fathom the courts, after hearing this, would allow her daughter to remain with the father until this nasty battle is over. So, why would they do such a thing? Well when my friend went into more details I was given more information. The DCF (Department of Children & Families) case worker stated that the mother had coerced her daughter into saying this and that the child was just seeking attention. Now, some would probably take a second thought about this and say the courts were right for not removing the father’s rights because the case worker .. the “expert” .. could be correct. HOWEVER … I must state that the police department found evidence in the father’s phone of the pictures that were taken and testified in court to that effect. Has the children been removed from him having unsupervised visitation rights? No. On the flip side, DCF is coming after the mother stating why is she just now reporting the incident instead of reporting it in January when it occurred.
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This is the saddest situation I’ve heard in a long time. The problem with the “reporting” is that not one person except the mother believed her daughter. The courts felt that this was something the mother concocted to get back at the father. I told my friend that she is a very strong person because I would have caught him off guard and beat the crap out of him for harming my children. I cannot imagine a biological father that would do anything of this nature to his own child. I believe her daughters are ages 5, 8 and 10. My heart was heavily burdened Wednesday after hearing this news and I send all my prayers out to her asking God to protect her and her daughters during this time of utmost despair. She spends a lot of money on an attorney to fight this case with her … they’ve placed a “guardian” on the case who provides inconsistent reports .. the DCF worker’s testimony has also been inconsistent. Yet DCF wants to condemn the mother. So I say to you, why are mothers held to a higher standard than fathers? Is it more important that she did not report it in a sufficient enough time (even though she did and it was discarded as coercion) or is it more important to keep your eyes peeled on the actions of the father? Should we not be trying to investigate these “allegations” further to ensure they are not true? Meanwhile the kids are forced to go with their father several times a week per court guidelines. As a mother I would sit there every second of the day wondering what the dirt bag is doing to my kids.
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My advice to my friend …
I told her that she needs to teach her daughters how to fight for themselves. If anyone touches you in a manner that is uncomfortable, whether physically or verbally, scream to the top of your lungs and if that does nothing, kick them in the sack and run like hell. That’s my advice. I know some of you may think that’s a bit much but you know what … if we as parents cannot count on the justice system to fight for us, then we must fight for ourselves. Our children are the most precious components of our lives. They are our responsibility. When our hands are tied behind our backs and the bull is charging, who’s going to wave the red cloth in a different direction? I don’t know about you but I wouldn’t want to put my life in no one else’s hands except the good Lord above.
Thanks for reading.
~Dade~
dade graphix 