Something that has been on my mind for awhile is the fact that lately, since I’ve been interacting with so many different women from all walks of life, I’m finding that there are a lot of us who have something terrible in common. This is a touchy subject so I’m asking your forgiveness in advance. I just feel that there are actions in this world that cannot be ignored. If it was happening 30 years ago, I’m sure it is still happening today.
When I was growing up, I found myself in a horrid situation. I was being threatened by a man who was supposed to be my mother’s boyfriend at the time. I was a skinny-minny 11-year-old. A tomboy at heart. I loved to wear my older brother’s clothes, play football and kickball in the street until the street lights came on and we’d race each other home before we got in trouble. This man who was supposed to care for my mother so much took it upon himself one day to molest me. He threatened me by telling me that if I ever told my mom that (a) she wouldn’t believe me (because my mom felt everything I said was a lie) and (b) that he would kill all of us. You would think it would sadden me by talking about this but I’ve become so much stronger due to the things that occurred in my life growing up. You may wonder why am I bringing this up. It is because lately, I’ve talked with so many different women who were molested by someone in their lives when things like this should never happen to any child. Look at it this way. Consider this post as an eye-opening attempt to bring awareness to child molestation. There is no one today that can convince me that this is not still happening to our daughters … our nieces … our granddaughters … our cousins … young ladies who should be enjoying life, not be in fear of their lives each time a “monster” walks through the door. I need us to protect our children … our family members … because sometimes suspicion by another family member is all we have to save ourselves from this terrible uncommon event that has turned out to be so common.
I have a friend who asked me to post one of my recent posts on my blog that she wanted to state to the world. The horrible factor is that her daughter, who is forced by the courts to spend time with her father (as her parents are divorced), had to experience her own father taking pictures of her with his camera phone inappropriately. Now, police reports were filed, the courts were involved and at the end of the day, this father was given MORE days to spend with his daughters than removing them from his care all together. These are true facts. Now, if this can happen in open court, what do you think happens to our children who do not have anyone fighting for their protection? It saddens me to know that the young girls I see walking home from school could be victims of molestation. Don’t think this has an impact on your lives? Allow me to take you a little deeper into the situation or should I say the outcome.
How do women become prostitutes? How do women remain in abusive relationships? How do women end up destroying their own lives? There is a story behind every incident that occurs in our life. Believe me when I say this. In no way am I an expert, a psychiatrist, a psychologist or a social worker. I am a mother, a graphic designer, a sister, a life coach, a cousin, a supervisor, a daughter, a mentor, a friend. I am also someone who cares about what goes on in our society today. Someone once told me that I was too lenient on my children … that I didn’t discipline them enough … that I cater too much to their needs instead of my own. Well, I don’t spank my kids because I grew up being abused physically, mentally and emotionally and I was so afraid that I would do to my children what was done to me that I stopped spanking them for things they did wrong. Spankings, in my opinion, are ineffective. It affects them more when you take a way things they love to do. But that’s another chapter that we will not get into at this moment. History is always known to repeat itself and I did not want that to occur in my household. No, I was not an alcoholic. No, I was not a wreck. Yes, the environment I raised my children in was so much different from the environment I grew up in. But I still had those fears in the back of my head that I would have the same tendencies my mother had.
Women tend to destroy themselves because of a lack of proper love, care and concern for their well-being. That’s why my daughters were raised with me telling them every chance they got how beautiful they were, how much I love them, how much I care about them. I said these things so that when a stranger said it, the words would fall on mute ears. So many of our young adults are looking for love in the wrong places that they end up in the wrong places thus destroying their lives. Do not allow our children to be raised by the street and by strangers. Save them now while they are still young. Show them that you care and love them more than anyone. Teach them that any inappropriate action by anyone should be reported … IMMEDIATELY. Take the time to listen to them and if they are not talking to you, it is time to start talking and listening to what your child has to say. Most child molestation incidents occur and go on without knowledge because that little girl or little boy is in fear of telling what has occurred. Whether it is via a threat by the molester or the concept that the parent(s) won’t listen. It is time to show our children that we are here to listen and understand any problem they may have. Don’t feel as if you have time? Make time. This is so very important and something we need to educate ourselves and our children on. Do not allow the acts of one to become your child’s worse nightmare.
Thank you for reading,
♥ Dade
dade graphix 